The Radical Honesty Job Interview

“Come To Florida”

I met Tom Dyson while I was living at Brad Blanton’s yurt. 

Actually, I remember exactly how we met. I was trying some yoga on the red carpet, facing the entrance. A guy fought his way through the mosquito net, wearing a white suit. I almost fell over, I thought he was a debt collector coming for Brad. In Virginia, nobody wears white suits, especially not Brad’s friends – they drive tractors, wear flannels, and chew tobacco. 

He introduced himself with an impeccable British accent.

Tom just completed an 8-Day Intensive Radical Honesty Workshop in Florida. After the workshop, his wife divorced him. She saw the hour-long video of Tom’s life story, recorded at the 8-Day workshop, where she received a 2-minute-mention.

I was intrigued and wanted to see the actual recording from the workshop.

Later that night we watched the video with Brad. From hopping trains all across North America to traveling Mexico with no money to building a multi-million dollar business whilst having three children, Tom did a lot of stuff. I liked him. And I liked his story. 

We became close friends in a short time. Tom needed a new marketing coordinator for his publishing company. I needed money, and was good at marketing. Long story short, Tom Dyson flew me and my friend Alex, who applied as a writer, into Florida for a week-long working trial.

“I’ve Got This Idea...”

One day at work, Tom came up with a crazy idea.

“Marvin, why don’t you and Alex tell your life story like we do at a Radical Honesty workshop?”

I had never ever been to a full 8-Day workshop. I had never told my life story. I knew about the concept from Brad. And I scared myself simply by thinking about telling it. 

“You mean just to you or on camera?” Alex asked.

“No. I was thinking you could tell it to all my employees.”

“Ehhhhhh….” I said.

“So they get to know you better. And learn about Radical Honesty. It will be fun.” Tom said.

“And you want us to tell everything that comes up in the process, and put our asses on the line in front of all of our potential co-workers?” Alex asked. 

“Yes, I want you to tell it completely honestly and not filter what you say.”

We both agreed. And I regretted it immediately. 

Stakes And Ladders

At that time, I had roughly 200 dollars to my name. I did not want to live in Germany. I wanted to be in America, and Tom was willing to go to extreme lengths to sponsor my visa and help me get settled. Yet the final decision was not up to him but to the department bosses. 

And they would be in our audience!

I wanted that job, and I was scared that telling my life story would ruin my chances.

Telling a life story, Radical Honesty style, is not a scripted performance, aimed to impress. The goal is not to convince others by delivering a sales pitch! It’s the vulnerable process of revealing things worth hiding and feeling your way through the depths of your memories. Now, that’s one thing to do in a safe workshop environment with skilled facilitators, and a whole different thing to do in front of two dozen unsuspecting people being asked to stay after work for 2 hours. 

For 2 days, me and Alex plotted whether to tell a safe-for-work, just-edgy-enough-to-entertain version, or go through the real-deal process and actually strip naked in front of potential coworkers.We went for the latter, and it was an experience I will never forget.

The Interview

The evening came and we entered the glass-walled and air-conditioned meeting room, a good twenty people sitting around the table. I thought I was going to trial. Tom smiled and set up the camera. He looked confident in his plan. My heart thumped against my chest and I could hear it in my throat. 

I don’t think I was ever that scared. 

Alex went first. I sat back and listened.

Here is how he describes his experience.

Enter Alex:

“Sitting in front of a room full of curious faces that I barely knew brought-up a lot of shifting sensations: tensions, tingles, giggles, tears, palpitations! I started talking about the early days of my life. After somewhat settling in to speaking, my mind would come up with another story to tell, another normally-hidden tale from my past that unsettled me again. My attention moved from my visual memories to my body to the wide-eyed faces staring back at me. Sometimes I tried to guess what they were thinking, and sometimes I shared what I thought they were thinking. Surrender can be a dreadfully relieving experience, and I surrendered approximately 107 times in that hour.

I told these potential managers and colleagues of childhood embarrassments, past lies, drug use, mental health turbulence, family issues, as well as travel stories, sexual partners, workshops gone right, and my dreams. After I’d told enough embarrassing details to get somewhat acclimatised to the process, and seeing other people’s curiosity in what I had to say gave me confidence. We inspired each other. Afterwards I felt like I’d had a deep tissue massage on the inside. I sat back, ready to watch Marvin talk, elated to have gone through this and relieved to focus on someone else. “

Exit Alex.

And then it was my turn.

As I went through all the shameful, funny, sad, and painful details of my life, I noticed the bald-headed guy at the other side of the table. His arms crossed in front of his chest, he squinted at me. To me, he looked angry as hell and I was sure he hated my story.

Unfortunately, the same guy was the head of the department I was hoping to work for. 

That was the end of my American Dream, I thought. 

Nevertheless, I finished telling my story and felt proud, light, and happy. 

I included all the details worth withholding: stealing at work, what porn I watched, how dysfunctional my relationships were, cheating, being obsessive and a lot more. Thinking back, I would describe this experience as “being transparent and not caring about being found out”.

Pretty much everything I wanted to take to the grave was out in the open. 

And, despite my biggest fears, that felt great in reality. 

The bald guy still sat with his arms crossed, staring into space.

I approached him: “I imagined you hated everything I said. Is that so?”

“Absolutely not. I was thinking about my own life all the time. I would never dare to tell most of it to anybody, not even my friends. This is amazing. I wish I could do this one day.”

I imagine he looked incredibly inspired and said he had some processing to do. He laughed pretty wildly, and seemed astonished! He left soon to be with his own thoughts. 

It was exactly the things I thought I would be crucified for that he loved hearing about!

Those were the things he connected to his own life and related to.

Long story short, I was hired.