The Illusion of Normality
New Normality or Screw Normality?
My mom used to tell me to be normal. My teachers said “that ain’t normal”. My bosses said “2 hours overtime per day are normal”. The world is calling for a NEW normal but I haven’t even caught up to the normal normal. Damn. Time to slow down and look at the concept of normality…
…and whether wanting to be normal is a realistic goal!
The Illusion of Normality
Humankind is special in many ways. For one, we are likely the first species on this earth to have developed numbers and the ability to calculate and measure. This was a grandiose step towards describing reality and categorising things. It made life easier.
We can predict the weather.
However, it also created a static lense through which we view the world.
We have created a numbers-cult, pervading all areas of our life.
Rankings, statistics, and averages suggest what is normal. The concept of normality is the average of the current noticeable behavior of society. We sum up everything there is and divide it by the amount of people. Voila! We have normality. But, frankly, that ain’t looking too rosy these days:
The normal German therefore is mildly obese, unhappy, divorces their marriage with a likelihood of 40%, is 50% unhappy at work, calls 1,39 children their own and watches 211 minutes of TV, daily. Want to sign up for this normality, right now?
Not me. Muchas gracias.
Just the way you are
We seem to forget that the Pursuit of Normality is a contradiction in itself. You are already included in the current normality, exactly the way you are right now, without even trying. You are already part of the norm. Trying to be normal therefore is like always coming late to the party. Life is what matters. The concept of normality just tries to make sense of it in retrospect.
Normality will always adapt to you, not vice versa.
Get that?
Normality has to accommodate your uniqueness, not the other way around.
The biggest enemy of a free and fulfilled life is orienting yourself externally. Especially in a society where most people are high-functioning neurotics, why would you want to do that? Being normal means to drift down a river of unrealistic goals and expectations, removing yourself from your own source of genius.
But we need YOU! We want YOUR weirdness and unique character.
Lord, spare me from being normal.
A one-way-ticket to boredom, please!
You don’t have to be the Buddha to observe that most humans suffer!
We suffer because we blindly subordinate our own desires to the ideas of a brought-into-line society. Unquestioned, we follow norms and standards. Something does not feel right to us? It does not matter. We don’t trust our own judgments. We learned to impress people we don’t even like.
We hide our own inner voice, even drown it out with excesses in sugar, drugs, sex, etc.
We lie to each other's faces. We hide behind niceties. Superficial harmony with each and every human being is valued higher than authentic self-expression and internal harmony with your soul. High blood pressure. Anxiety. Diabetes. Stress. Those are often results of castrating your own individuality.
No one dares to question the obvious!
Guidelines are followed, even if we don’t agree with them.
But without people doing that, we as a society would still live in caves.
Humankind needs you to get out of line and question the norm. This is where progress comes in.
Most people sleepwalk through life in a daze, completely caught up in the auto-pilot of their thinking minds. Normal people rarely make their dreams come true. At their death beds, people wish they had the courage to lead a life true to themselves, not true to the expectations of society.
Unfortunately, that’s a bit late, ain’t it?
A truly self-reliant, happy person is not normal
The 5% of us living more self-fulfilled lives are not striving for a normal life.
They don’t act according to established patterns. They don’t live in rigid structures they did not choose for themselves. Those people are the entrepreneurs, musicians, artists, good parents, and revolutionaries of our times. Normal society consumes the creations of those who are not normal!
These days, in a society in which your Instagram follower count matters more than who you really are as a human being, I’d wager that the abnormal people are the happier ones.
Happiness and Joy are abnormal
Autonomous thinking is abnormal
Telling the truth is abnormal
Talking to strangers is abnormal
Walking one’s own walk of life is abnormal
Talking about feelings is abnormal
Laughing with no reason is abnormal
Being fully engaged in the NOW is abnormal
The end is certain…
Unlike in movies, our own personal end is certain. One day, we will die. There will be that last day. A day when there will be no more days after that. We can arrive at that day in two very different ways.
Or let’s say we have a spectrum of 2 extremes here:
We will either arrive at our own end with a sack of unrealised dreams and potentials, broken and full of regrets.
Or, we arrive in style, ready to leave and grateful for the life we had.
Probably, we will be somewhere in between those two extremes. But I don’t know.
Every morning, we have a chance to move towards either direction.
“It’s normal to work from 9 to 5 in a soulless job. Looking forward to the weekend on a Monday is normal. Lying is normal. Screen addiction is normal. Negativity is normal. Being sick is normal. Fast food is normal. Being financilly broke is normal. Hating your work is normal. Knowing more about the Kardashians than about your own grandparents and not even thinking that this might be an issue is normal. ”
A Revolution of Love and Life itself
Tell me, when do YOU feel most alive?
Aren’t those the days when something unexpected happens?
The days when your expectations and routines are interrupted for a short moment?
The stories we remember the most are the ones where something innocent happens, something we could not have predicted by sheer logic! Sweet, sweet moments of pure existence.
We all long for them.
Yet we keep ourselves from the joy our hearts seek by investing way too much time in thinking.
And here is the thing:
I don’t care about a new normality or old normality or any normality, like ever.
What I care about is this:
I care about the uniqueness of each and every one of us. What do you long for? What are your fears? What are your wildest dreams? What are your hopes? I care about what touches your heart. I care about how you are feeling in your own body, not how people say you COULD or SHOULD feel.
I care about love. And animals. I care about a world of people before profits.
And really, I don’t think that normality will get us there! Not even the new normality! Sorry.
I think we need to radically change our modus operandi.
We need a revolution of people reconnecting with their own intuition and voices and dreams and hopes. And from there, being firmly grounded in our own unique-weird-being, we can co-create a new world.
A world in which hope arises even in times of despair!